Archive for September, 2008
5 Reasons Why a Pit Bull Would Be a Better VP than Palin
September 6th, 2008
Last week Sarah Palin claimed that as a hockey mom, she is like a pit bull (with lipstick). While she might like to portray herself this way, I think John McCain would have faired much better by picking an actual pit bull as his running mate. Here is why.
1. Pit bulls are loyal. Sarah Palin, not so much.
DogBreedInfo.com describes pit bulls as a “good-natured, amusing, extremely loyal and affectionate family pet, which is good with children and adults.”
Meanwhile, the National Enquirer is reporting that Sarah Palin had an extra martial affair with her husband’s business associate. Remember that it was The Enquirer that broke the news about John Edwards’ affair with a campaign staffer. Months later, it turned out to be true.
2. Pit bulls won’t shoot you. Sarah Palin might.
I’ve never seen a pit bull fire a gun, but Sarah Palin (life member of the NRA) has apparently shot and killed more than her fair share of moose. Add that to the fact that Republican VP’s aren’t the greatest when it comes to NOT shooting people in the face (Dick Cheney), and it appears that Palin has a very good shot at popping a cap in an ass sooner rather than later.
Also, Palin’s unwed but pregnant daughter is having a shotgun wedding (the NRA must be thrilled!). The groom (aka baby daddy) might want to consider a Kevlar tuxedo.
3. Pit bulls don’t use religion to force an agenda.
When talking about a pipeline in Alaska, Sarah Palin actually said, that “God’s will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that.” I’m confident in saying that God is a lot less interested in another Alaskan pipeline than he is in ending war and human suffering around the world. Why not pray for that Sarah?
4. Pit bulls don’t like hockey… and neither does the rest of America.
According to The Harris Poll, Hockey is the fifth most popular sport in the U.S. behind football, baseball, basketball and NASCAR. Yes, NASCAR is more popular than hockey, and some years so are soccer, golf and tennis. Sorry hockey moms, but your sport is lame.
5. Pit bulls are cuter that Sarah Palin.
You might have won a beauty pageant 20 years ago in “tiny town” Alaska Sarah Palin, but look at the mug on this dog. Pit bulls win hands down.
While there aren’t many famous pit bulls that have the name recognition that the McCain campaign would be looking for in a running mate, there are a few other dogs that do. Might I suggest Lassie? Now she is a female I can see in the White House.
Darn, I forgot. Sarah Palin didn’t have any name recognition either. Sorry McCain, you should have gone with the pit bull!
I am a registered Republican. I’m also a pit bull owner, so I know what I’m talking about.
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